May 13, 2013 § Leave a comment
People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.
May 9, 2013 § Leave a comment
I want people to see Christ in me.
I don’t even care if they know my name, as long as they know my God.
Fear has handicapped our generation. Inevitably on our pursuit for knowledge we will attain fragments of our expectations that will quench our superficial desires- tiny bursts of ego shots. However, if we press on further and deeper through more layers of our granite exterior, our addictions will cause us to grapple with dead ends. Most will choose to call them dead ends because our minds will desire to carve out a home in that barrier more readily than it will be willing to admit that that barrier just opens another door to more questions. The line between a dead end and an opportunity is thin.
That home is fear. A home that nourishes a person with a pride that relentlessly refuses to admit the unknown exists, and provides the security of a rooftop stitched with past experiences that make one wary of going forward. An area code is established in this limbo because evaluating the the conditions of our hearts requires thinking. We end up bartering away all the future experiences that promise to promote growth in our character for a sub-par past that has no spontaneity because it is devoid of the unknown. How many times are you willing to watch a movie you’ve committed to memory?
What if we made our homes in the question marks? Finding a niche in the risks is what I perceive having bold faith to require. Being comfortable in sacrificing yourself everyday for experiences you will at one point in retrospect be thankful for is worth a few stuttering steps. If you really need some inspiration to get those gears ticking, consider the obedience Jesus exhibits to our God when he makes His journey to Calvary. If you think opening a door that results in a question mark even compares slightly to walking boldly in faith to your own death, then you need an extreme realignment in perspective.
Stop living in fear, and start rejoicing in the questions of your heart. Don’t let the fear of thinking cloud the light within yourself, it is there you will find the Answers.
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.
May 8, 2013 § Leave a comment
I have come to accept myself for what I am: human. I am not perfect. I am not immune to fate, but I am not automatically doomed for being alive. I feel temptations every second of every day and I am not controlled by them. I do what I want anyway, so who is to say I want anything else? When I want, I let these peculiarities run across me like dogs to their masters. When I do not, I keep them at bay with my will and my testimony. I do not cut myself off from what makes me feel; I just refuse to feel anything that cuts me off from what matters most. It is called will power. With a little practice, you can accomplish great things.
May 7, 2013 § Leave a comment
When people ask me, I still fumble with the right words. Sometimes I wish the insurmountable disparity between your feelings and the words that embody them didn’t exist.
Attending a youth missions conference last winter really placed some heavy truths on my heart and sparked this irrevocable unease with the way I live my life. 21 undeserved years, and still drowning in a grace that I can’t even begin to fathom. I had arrived at a pinnacle ensuring that no more limitations exist. How deliciously ironic that this freedom would leave me so desperately anxious, and worse: unsatisfied. 21 years. God chose to invest in me 21 years and I’ve measured myself by fleeting achievements, coupled with superficial possessions and a sporadic rebellious behavior.
This year I dedicated my 21st birthday to making an investment in God’s kingdom, and to me that means investing in His people. So I’ve created this blog hoping that it will serve as a platform to encourage myself and others to keep sharing with one another.
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”
– Matthew 6:21
I was blessed to take 21 shots for my birthday; they were all aimed at my pride, ignorance, fear and selfishness.